End of the Day

To be quite fair to this day, it's one of the shittest. Today I've had to go to one of my cousins funerals. He was one of the only members of my family who I knew was gay, he only found out he was dying a few months ago and it's all been all of a sudden happened. It was a nice funeral, very cheery rather than depressing, how he wanted it I guess. Problem is I can't recall his face, which is bad.

Also today I found out that when (rather than if) my hours are cut, they'll go to 20 hours, meaning I can afford rent + my loan but nothing more, so no food for me... Since the new company has taken over it's been rubbish since, literally. Problem is I don't know what I wanna do beyond it, besides being a BBC Guide, but we all know that's not gonna happen just yet...

And I have a splitting headache. I was looking through gaydar yesterday night and seeing the 40s and 50s and 60 year olds there and thinking, am I gonna be one of those? Single and alone when I get to that age? Is that gonna be, lonely?

To be quite honest I would like to go to sleep and not really wake up anymore...